Happy Leap Day

So I had to write a blog on leap day. I mean come on I wont be able to do this for another 4 years. Man. So Abby and Ree Ree are now Aunts. Poor child. Not because she has Ree and Abby for Aunts... but becaause she was born on a leap day. I mean really how do you do birthdays for these poor children born on leap day. I mean you can have it on the 28th or the 1st but the whole time deep down you know it is not truly your birthday. Any ways I got to go see Sara Groves in concert tonight. She was awesome and I had never really heard her before. She sounds a lot like Sarah McGlaughin... I have no idea how to spell that but you know who I'm talking about. One of her lyrics stuck out to me... and let me pause and say that in the depth of my soul I am soooooo jealous that I can't write lyrics.... anyways this line she wrote stuck out to me. It is something that I have thought about often and actually Amanda blogged about it the other day. But it said, " you are the Son and I am the moon". She was referring to the fact that without the sun the moon would emit no light, because it is simply a reflection. Just like us, if we don't turn our face to the Son then we will simply fade away. God is teaching me so so so so so  much and I cannot wait to see His hand move through the rest of this semester and this summer. This is random but just know I love you all and I'd do anything for any of you. God Bless. 

Awed

Well I am not doing so good at this getting to bed early thing and considering that I have to be up in about 6 hours I'm going to make this short. But God has been pressing on my heart so I knew I needed to share. Last night at college group Flavio shared a little about his life and ministry. When he got to the part about how a missionary left the comfort of America to share the gospel with him he got choked up. I was listening to a Piper sermon the other day and he was talking about how when we read that we are called it should create awe in us. And I think that is what Flavio was expressing last night. Awe. Awe not only that an American would leave all of the comforts of this country and travel to a third world country to tell him about Jesus, but more importantly that God opened his eyes to see the light of the glory of the gospel ( 2 Cor 4:6). It convicted me. I have lost my awe. I feel like my salvation has become routine to me and I most certainly do not want that. When we think of the fact that God in all His glory chose to open our eyes.... that should spawn a little more awe than I have been seeing from God's children lately... myself most definitely included. So I guess be challenged. Have you thought..I mean really thought about your salvation lately and the grace that accompanies such an event. I guess I should ask... are your knees dirty? If not... re-evaluate. I did. 

Listen

So last night some pretty hardcore storms came through Birmingham. I woke up once when the power went out because I sleep with a fan and when the fan stops up I go. I looked outside and remember thinking man it is raining soooo hard... and then it came. I'm pretty sure the bolt hit my apartment building. My bed shook and there was no time at all between the bright blue flash and the splitting of the air by the heat of that ferocious lightning strike. I don't think it stopped lightning for about 20 minutes after that. Continuos flash flash flash of bright blue and green light followed by peels and and occasional pop of thunder. As I lay there all I could think of was the passage in Job where Elihu talks about the voice of God in the thunder. I fell back asleep listening to the voice of my Father telling me of His power and might. Now that is what I call an awesome bedtime story. Turns out there was tornadoes all around me and most of my friends were in their basements... thanks for the call guys... but all in all God was in control... and shouting it loud and proud.

"Listen closely to the thunder of His voice, and the rumbling that goes out from His mouth. Under the whole heavens He lets it loose, and His lightning to the ends of the earth. After it, a voice roars; He thunders with His majestic voice, and He does not restrain the lightnings when His voice is heard. God thunders with His voice wondrously, doing great things which we cannot comprehend."

and I just noticed the next part... and it fits so ironically because I just walked out on my porch and there is about 1/11116 inch of snow on my rails. Yesterday it was 75 degrees out and tonight.. snow

Elihu continues,

" For the snow he says, 'Fall on the Earth,' and to the downpour and the rain, 'Be Strong.'"

and in verse 13 sums it all up with,

" Whether for correction, or for His world, or for lovingkindness, He causes it to happen."

Open doors?? We will see

So this past weekend I went to VMI (Virginia Military Institute) with Heather. We met Erica and her fiance Robert up there and hung out for the weekend. It is a very interesting school, something I am totally not used to but I thought it was fascinating nevertheless.

well I have already started thinking about summer. As of about a week ago I was going to be wokring at camp, taking 2 classes in May and 2 in the summer. I was pretty much excited about that, I really like working at camp. Then last Tuesday night we had a couple of missionaries come speak at college group and one showed a video about a program that new tribes missions does in the summer in Papau New Guinea so I talked to my professor about it and he said I could possibly count it as an internship and get some school credit for it and fulfill a study abroad requirement so I have been considering that because you all know i would LOOOOVE  to do a missions trip this summer. But it is $4500 so I knew some serious prayer would be involved before I could go. Then...

While in VA I decided to check my other gmail account, which I never do, and come to find out a lady from Passion conferences emailed me about applying for an internship with them this summer. I almost fell off the bed. Last summer I had bugged the mess out of those poor people to get info about internships with them and a lady named Gina told me to email a resume' and that if anything came up they would let me know... I prayed soooo hard for that internship but it wasn't God's plan for me then and then this summer when the thought had not even crossed my mind someone emails me telling me about an internship this summer. I have no idea where she got my email or anything. I filled out the application though and sent it in and she told me she would let me know by end of March. So another door was cracked open for my summer. I am just going to let God open and shut the doors and I really will be okay with any of the above options or with whatever God may chose to send my way.

Ohhhh the possibilites. I am excited to see where I am going to end up this summer... BHam, PNG, ATL... who knows!

Random update on my life

Spiritual Warfare in my brain!!!!!!

So these past few days I have been experienceing some hard core spiritual warfare. Like I really do feel like there are 2 things inside my chest and one is pulling one way and one the other... ripping me apart. It started Saturday... I just felt like all day satan was screaming in my face.."your prayers don't matter.. God doesn't need you (which is true but not in the sense that satan was telling me)... God does NOT want you happy so get used to it"... and on and on and on.. and I know very well that ALLLLLL of that was a lie.. and the issue was not that I was believing any of it it was just that it really did feel like anytime I had a thought towards God satan would grab and pull as hard in the other direction as possible... so the problem was the exhaustion of constantly pulling my thoughts away from Satan. It is getting better but it has been a while since I have felt such hardcore struggle inside of me. It was just like a constant burn in my chest and I felt like I was going crazy. Thankfully today was better.. I started out the day distracted in my prayer but God graciously refocused me and I slowly felt the tension ceasing to some degree throughout the day. I know spiritual warfare is not a thing of the past or not something that is no longer relevant but man it stinks when Satan pulls so hard that you get emotionally drained and you can't verbally express why. I am not sure if any of that made sense at all but I am just thankful that my God has overcome the world and disarmed Satan and his clan forever.  I am not sure what satan was fighting so hard in me against this weekend but it can only mean that God is doing big things in my heart... and for that I would endure anything!

Singapore

Thanks for the comment from the person in Singapore. I think its pretty much cool. Thats a long ways away. and if you are reading this on facebook (because all of my blogs import)...then just disregard. 

the flu and 1 Thessalonians

Welll it looks like the flu finally caught up with me. I thought I may have escaped it but looks like I failed, or I guess I should say my immune system failed. I don't feel terrible yet but it is progressively getting worse. All is good though I am just hoping that it won't be as bad as my near death experience last august on the way back from NYC. Anyways one thing that I am thankful for in this sickness is the down time that I am forced to have. Tonight I took some time to watch a video from Passion 2007. It as the talk that Louie Giglio did the last night we were there and it actually was the talk that God spoke to me and called me into full-time life-long devotion to him so I just wanted to watch it again and relive a very very good memory in my life. The root of that message and the verse that God used to move my heart was Acts 1:8 "but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." 

God pretty much just brought me to a point that night where He took what I couldn't give and made my life goal to be His witness wherever he may take me. As Louie said I may not know where I am going or when I am going but I will always know who I am going with. 

As I thought back on 2007 and how Acts 1:8 had been my theme verse I began to think what I wanted my theme verse for 2008 to be. Granted I know that it is over half way through February but God had not made my theme verse for the year clear yet and I did not want to just pick some random verse. So yesterday considering I did not feel like moving off of the couch I decided to watch a movie... and for those of you who know me you know that this is a rare occasion in the life of me... but my sweet friend Amanda had rented The Hiding Place and I had not watched that movie since junior high so I popped it in and as I watched God moved my heart through the attitude of these women who endured this awful crime of the Holocaust. The thing that stuck our more than anything was that Betsy never complained. When Corrie told her that she would never give thanks for the lice Betsy told her that God said in EVERYTHING give thanks, and that mindset is rooted in 1 Thess. 5:16-18. This moved me and God made it clear to me that this was to be my theme verse for 2008. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 reads, " Rejoice always; pray continuously; give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."

At this point in my life where I am having the hardest time discerning Gods will for my life this verse brings so much comfort, for no matter what I do or where I go, God's will for me will always be to rejoice always, pray continuously and give thanks in all circumstances. How I long to be a woman who does that. With grace I shall hope to grow in this verse this year. Oh that He would break my heart for what breaks His. I truly have nothing to complain about, for there is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still. 

this is what I do in psychopathology class... enjoy

65

greater things have yet to come

So Peyton wrote a blog about our city adventures so I figured I might as well too.

So Pey and I went to this place in the highlands last night and sat and watched the sun set over the city. It is the best view of birmingham ever. I love it! So as we sat there we talk about God and about all of the people that we saw driving home after a busy day at work and we wished we could knew what everyone lived for. I met a guy in one of my classes the other day who is an atheist. He thinks this life is it. No heaven, no hell, just earth. How sad. He is living for the moment, and for himself. I meet so many people who are so far from God and the more I get out into the city the more I see the depravity of our city, and our world for that matter. Anyways we just sat there and watched the sunset and pondered with the idea that someone could actually believe that somehow that just happens every night... and that somehow it rises right back up every morning, all by itself. I mean how can you not know that God makes the sun rise every morning, and opens his hand and provides for every living thing. It just made me so so thankful that God chose me. he chose me to see life, true life that makes life on this earth look so dim. Looking down on our city reminded me how depraved we are. i looked into the distance and saw the skyscrapers ( if you can call them that in bham) and all of the people in them who were strving for their own power and fame, then I looked to the left and saw 5 points with all of the clubs where people go to dishonor their bodies that they don't even own. It just made me remember that even in our small city on any given day there is so much sin, and Jesus Christ was perfect enough that he could take all of that sin from every city in every country from every day past and future on his shoulders on the cross and provide a sufficient sacrifice. It blows my mind and demands my face to the earth. For how else can I respond to a love like that. How can you look into the face of Christ and not give Him your life. All of it, for his kingdoms cause. So as Chris Tomlin sings... greater things are yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city. I have to be a light, I need nothing but grace to do His will. 

Spread that seed

So tonight I was studying Romans 1:6-7 and listening to a Piper sermon. The verses read, " among whom you also are the called of Jesus Christ. To all who are beloved by God in Rome, called as saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Piper was focusing on two words in particular in those verses, called and beloved. Since election has been something that I have studied a lot about in the past few months I was very intrigued. He addressed a huge issue concerning predestination which is : "If the chosen have been chosen since before the foundations of the earth then why is there a need for missions. God has chosen them already and they can't be 'unchosen' so why do we as Christians need to evangelize." Well other than the fact that we are commanded to JP used the illustration of the parable of the seed. He showed how the seed is spread everywhere.. on all types of soil, not only the good soil, but the thorns and rock as well. It is our job to spread the seed, everywhere, to everyone and God is the one who decides the fertility of the soil it is dropped on. I thought that was such a good illustration and wanted to share it with many of you who, like me, have struggled through election and the Sovereignty of God in salvation.