found it

So after endless searches with no reward I decided to email the Worship dude from Brook Hills and ask him what the song was called... the result:
Not What my hands have Done by Aaron Keyes.
Thank you Steven Sivley. You saved the day!

lost in time

So there were a few people talking about how they lost track of time on their exam and wrote over an hour and a half on 1 question... this is a phenomenon that I cannot fathom.. I have never experienced that... knowing too much information... having to pick out only the important parts.. and then still writing for an hour and a half on one question...this may be a new life goal.

in awe

.... that the God of the Universe dwells in me and actually lives out through me. Simply in awe.

My new favorite song

So I heard this song on Sunday night at BrookHills and loved it! Now I can't find it anywhere... it's an old him..so good.. Here's the words:

Not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul
Not what my toiling flesh has borne can make my spirit whole
Not what I feel or do can give me peace with God
Not all my prayers and sighs and tears can bear my awful load

chorus
These guilty hands are raised, filthy rags are all I bring
And I have come to hide beneath Your wings
These holy hands are raised, washed in the fountain of Your grace
And now I wear Your righteousness

They work alone O Christ can ease this weight of sin
Thy blood alone O Lamb of God can give me peace within
Thy love to me O God not mine O Lord to thee
Can rid me of this dark unrest and set my spirit free (chorus)

Thy grace alone O God to me can pardon speak
Thy power alone O Lamb of God can this sore bondage break
No other work save Thine, no other blood will do
No strength save that which is divine can bear me safely through (chorus)

I praise the God of grace, I trust His truth and might
He calls me His, I call Him mine, my God, my joy, my light
Tis He who saveth me and freely pardon gives
I love because He loveth me, I live because He lives (chorus)

If you know the title or where I can find it let me know!

thoughts

Sitting in the palm of Your hand
My only Father, my maker the strong one who sees
As is Your name so is Your praise
For such a God is Thee

Our God forever and ever
He will guide us until death
I have nothing to bring but a broke spirit
Desperate for the next breath

Revive in my soul the burden for the lost
Help me not forget the cost


To do what I can to honor Your name
Your glory honor renown and fame

The desire of my soul
It's Your way or mine
It can't be both lest I find
An empty hope in the things I see
I lay it all down at Your feet

Your mercy cannot rest on a restless heart
How do I quiet the sound
Of spirit versus Spirit inside this flesh
May Your mighty voice pour down

Revive in my soul the burden for the lost
Help me to not forget the cost

Prayer Summit

Saturday's prayer summit went down without a glitch... good job Manda and Michelle... here are a few pics from the day...
My main conviction from the event was that I don't pray enough for people other than myself and my immediate circle of life.....working on it.

how it is

1 word to describe life right now: EXPLOSION
of busyness.
I'm not gonna lie.
I like it.

In Our City For Our City

Tomorrow our church is traveling to downtown Bham to "prayer walk" in the heart of our city. I am so excited.. God is big enough to do big things in this city... and I hope He uses tomorrow to open a lot of peoples eyes (including mine) to the pain and sin that is in our city. The only way things will change is if He shows us how to love like He has loved us and to break our heart for what breaks His. Thats what I am looking forward to about tomorrow... a reminder from God that life is not about me. Billions of galaxies are the works of His fingers..and we live on a tiny blip in one of those galaxies.... life is a vapor... a mist... but these people we will come in contact with tomorrow... there souls will last (live.. whatever the right word here is) for eternity. I need to be burdened by that more than I am...

Prayer

Please pray for me if you think about it.. I have a lot... A LOT... of decisions to make right now and nothing is seeming to be clear cut...I have to prioritize and I can't for the life of me seem to decided what's important... it's all for God thats not the issue.. He is obviously number 1 in all decisions... the tough part is none of these decisions are rights or wrongs... so I am battling being overwhelmed... and I usually thrive in these busy times... just not right now for some reason... so just send a prayer up for me if you think about it... greatly appreciated. He is Sovereign and I'm in good hands... thank goodness.
Searching for His voice.
RJ

Greater things...

So here are a few pictures from Passion Atl... more thoughts but I have a 10 page research paper due...

PWT

Check IT yo...

A moment of honesty

So this past weekend was womens retreat at SMI. I was not very excited about it before I went... i have so much to do for school, I'm moving and Passion is this weekend so I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and was not sure about another one of my weekends being full. But I knew God had a plan even when I couldn't see the benefit of going. I learned so so much. Mostly God revealed a lot... a LOT of things to me that I was unaware of. I learned that I am often viewed as a judgmental person... this absolutely broke my heart. For a long time I had been comparing myself to other people... mostly falling short but occasionally feeling Spiritually superior.. if there was such a thing... and I had not even been aware of it... God showed me that the only person I am compared to is Jesus...and I will always always fall short. Praise God that He loves us enough to not leave us where we are. He is working something big in my heart in relation to this revelation. I am seeking for what it means to really love. I want to be a person who people are not afraid to tell there problems and struggles because they know I will not judge... only love. I clearly have not been that person in a lot of peoples lives. I
have been broken.. stripped... humbled. And I am so thankful. I pray often for God to show me my sins... the ones I am so unaware of... blind too... I tend to forget how painful that can be. God is truly all that I need... my future does not mater.. (I mean it does but tomorrow is not even promised so there is no need for it to consume my thoughts). This world sees Christians as the most judgmental, hypocritical people they know.. I know beg that I will not be a catalyst to this view. I thought I had it all together... Praise God that he showed me that I was just the opposite. God willing I will be a different person and it will be visible. Thank all of you who have been honest with me in what I need to change in my life. Praise God that he loves us despite ourselves. These words have been my cry... let them be an encouragement to you...thanks you Brook Fraiser:

Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
-Hillsong United: Hosanna

So thankful

...for answers.

I'm in Renaissance history... thats why I am blogging so much

What I was doing 10 years ago - 1998
1) in 5th grade
2) living with my Aunt for the most part
3) at Trinity united methodist church

Five things on my to-do list today

1)Turn in a Nationalism paper
2)take a geography quiz
3)collect some towels for Passion
4)Pack for Women's Retreat
5)Go to the apt. and pack a little more

Snacks I enjoy
1) Can starbucks count?
2) Sour Patch Kids
3) Salt and Vinegar chips
4) Andes Mints
5) Choc. Chip muffins

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1) Dig enough wells in Africa to give all the villages clean water for life
2) Support all of the missionaries that SMI can't afford to support now
3) Pay off my moms debt
4) Travel... A LOT
5) Buy an SUV
6) Pay off SMIC's debt... if they have any
7) Pay for Bible translations for all the remaining languages with out the Bible in their language


Five of my bad habits... oh goodness
1) being on the computer too long
2) Sleeping too late
3) eating too much
4) not working out
5) listening to music too often

Five places I have lived
1) 1056 Ivy Hills Cr Hoover
2) 3733 Carisbrooke hoover
3) 1506 8th street Ttown
4) 702 17th ave Ttown
5) The Downs- Tuscaloosa

Five jobs I've had
1) Aeropostale
2) Manager at Bath and Body
3) Camp Straight Street Counselor
4) Camp Financial Administrator
5) Nanny

Life at a secular, dowtown Birmingham university

So today I have been so amused by people... actually I am deeply saddened but on the surface I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Here has been the happening of my day so far... Be amused.
First I am sitting in class and I can barely hear the professor for the booming of the subs from a car outside. ( That should go in the UAB group.. " you know you go to UAB when you can't hear your professor over the subs in the street")
Then I am walking through the Hill center to get a sandwich for lunch and this song is blaring and I couldn't help but listen to the lyrics.. they went something like this, " I'm really really hot... blah blah... tight jeans short shirts short skirts is where it's at" or at least something to that effect. I immediately laughed out loud then realizing I was in a public place and people were giving strange looks. Oh well.. absolutely ridiculous.
Then I pass a guy, who might I add is way on the feminine side of life if you know what I mean, and he is talking on his cell phone and obviously I missed the first part of the convo but I'm guessing the person on the other end of the phone said " So what are you doing later"
and the guy walking by me proceeded to say " Well I have to go get shi--" I literally turned around and gave him the funniest look.. go get sh--... I mean really what is that supposed to mean.
So I get my sandwich and then go to my next class.. I walk in and sit behind a few people who are having a conversation about a presentation or something and one of the guys, who is much older than everyone else, is giving the young girls advice.. his most important part of which is.. if you can't bullsh-- then you will never make it in life.
Then he proceeds to go on and tell them the history of homosexuality traces back to apes... apparently when two male monkey's would start to fight one would always surrender and say "don't kill me lets have sex"

I thought surely someone is playing a joke on me.
Nope.
Just another day at good ole UAB.
My goodness.
I'm sure more interesting quote will follow. More to come...

Moved

Tonight at Bible study we talked about this passage
It moved me so much.. it has been a while since I have had the feeling of God's forgiveness be so fresh to me. I struggle often with not feeling worthy... and truth is I'm not but Praise be to God that, "He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us."
(Psalm 103:10-12)

I am so thankful for this truth tonight. I know I have only begun to scratch the surface of this truth... My prayer this week- For God to make this real to me and help me understand this. No I'm not worthy, but He is and thats all I need to know. Here is the rest of the Psalm... be encouraged.

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will hekeep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the LORD, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

I just decided that if I was lyrical... at all... that I would write a modern day praise and worship song from this.. too bad.

Verses of the day

Colossians 1:9-14
Read it.
Be encouraged.